We walk among you

There’s a very fine line between using and enjoying drugs and alcohol, and not being able to live without drugs and alcohol. Let me be perfectly clear here; alcohol is a drug in liquid form. It’s especially lethal being legal and popular.

Today I took a call on a drug addiction help line. A 32 year old man. His story is the same story I hear almost every time. He’s paranoid. He hasn’t slept for three days now. He pulled over to call for help while driving to a business appointment.

The conversation is furtive at first, he’s cagey, suspicious of me. Are we recording, can he be traced?  Once I’ve got him relaxed and trusting that I am actually a person who wants to help, he starts telling me absolutely everything, as quickly as he can.

Here’s why I’m telling you this. He’s your son, your brother, your uncle, your cousin, your teacher, your doctor. He’s the guy who’s too scared to ask for help. He feels ashamed. He’s beating himself up for lying to his wife. He’s run out of money and he can’t meet his car payments, his medical aid, his cell phone. He’s not a bad guy actually, he loves his mom and he’s so ashamed and doesn’t want  her to be hurt. He’s hit the wall. He’s so tired. He’s so ashamed. He has really tried to stop. So. Many. Times.

Now we’re comfortable with one another. What other drugs does he use? Well. His family doctor prescribed anti anxiety pills for him when he was in matric. He suffered from insomnia. Why did he first use cocaine? Well, he was offered it at a club, while he was dating his now wife. He felt good, got so much energy. People complimented him on his performance. He used it again, because he was getting complimented. Three years he’s been using amphetamines as if it were coffee. Every day. The longest he managed to stop was for three days. Then he hit the wall. He couldn’t breathe without cocaine. He couldn’t leave the house without using, he couldn’t make love without cocaine. Now the cocktail he needs are benzo’s (Rivitrol, Alzam, Xanax etc.) to help him come down after all The coke he takes all day. Just to get through a day. A habit costing him around R1000 a day. He’s not kidding. Good shit costs more.

I’ve been counseling him for almost half an hour. We’ve established trust, empathy, unconditional positive regard. He thanks me for letting him reveal the depth of his addicted life, now in swerving chaos, derailing in every direction. He says he feels enormous relief now that he’s found a platform to be heard and not judged. Meanwhile I’ve arranged another male addict in recovery, his age and in his area, to meet with him and take him through the process of healing. We call it a twelfth step. Another person who has managed to turn his life around is going to take this addict to a safe place, connect him with a host of helpful addicts in recovery, and bring him gently into our fold.

This is who “we” are. This is what “we” do. We walk among you. We always have. When one of “us” calls for help, the response is immediate and help is what we do best. No fees and no requirements other than a desire to stop. It’s possible. Recovery from alcoholism and addiction is indeed a reality. We can and we do recover.  What’s more, WE walk among you. Could somebody in your circle of influence be this man? 101 of addressing addiction is to say it if you see it. Might you be an alcoholic or addict?

Peace Out People. Love your family hard, with all your hearts.